A Valentine Schmorgesborg

I have no idea what this says. However, they were given to me by a Dutch waitress in a bar in the Red Light district of Amsterdam on Valentine's Day. It was 10am. Long story, and not at all what you might think!

That's right, I said schmorgesborg.

So I have all these weird little nuggets of things I feel compared to share. They are of no meaning or consequence, I just want to put them out there. Perhaps it will allow me to sleep better to just have them out there, arranging all the little letters into words, words into sentences and sentences into something tolerable to run your eyes across for the next six minutes or so.  Perhaps.

First, the "not sleeping" cycle has returned. Goddamnmutherfuckingshithellcrap. I hate it when that happens. Last night, The Candyman did not help. He kept rolling over and grabbing my boobs in the middle of the night. Sleep-groping. It's his thing. Normally, I wouldn't mind. However, I'm totally ovuliscious right now and they are sore. Also, there's nothing quite like waking from the first twenty minute of sleep you've had to a painful boob grab. Apparently, he was having a dream where I was getting a tattoo and he was doing everything he could to stop that from happening. Apparently in the dream I was being quite defiant. Who? Me?

Second, being sleep deprived creates this mucho annoying eye tick thing that drives me up the wall all damn day long. I'm trying to have a conversation *tick* with someone *tick* and I get *tick* distracted by my *tick* eye *tick* and can't finish *tick* my thought *tick*. See how annoying it is?

Third, is everyone out there familiar with an MBO? No? Here is the official Wikipedia definition:

Management by Objectives (MBO) is a process of agreeing upon objectives within an organization so that management and employees agree to the objectives and understand what they are in the organization.

The term "management by objectives" was first popularized by Peter Drucker in his 1954 book 'The Practice of Management'.

The essence of MBO is participative goal setting, choosing course of actions and decision making. An important part of the MBO is the measurement and the comparison of the employee’s actual performance with the standards set. Ideally, when employees themselves have been involved with the goal setting and the choosing the course of action to be followed by them, they are more likely to fulfill their responsibilities.

HEY! Wake up! Did you just read blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah? Yeah, me too. Let's just say that I am in the middle of all that blah-ness and I am so over it. I need to find out if that Peter Drucker character is still alive because if he is, I'm going to find out where he lives and kill the motherfucker.

On a happier note, I met with the uber-cool Ashley Hicks over at Wedding 101 last night. It really amazes me how freakin' ga-ga stupid I still get over wedding stuff. I also met Joe and Rhonda Hendricks of Joe Hendricks Photography. Rhonda gave me my first semi-celebrity type of feeling. I went to introduce myself and she was all, "You're Louise! You're The Thirty-Something Bride! I love your blog!" I almost peed I was so flabbergasted/humbled/slightly embarrassed/excited! I did not pee though. Good thing. Nothing like wetting yourself to ruin a first impression.

On another happier note, The Candyman and I have made our first big purchase together (not counting The Wedding)! Yes, it's sad but true: we are retiring the Dell Dimension 2400 circa 2003. We are getting a new computer! I can't tell you how happy I am about all the gigahertzes and RAM and shit I'm getting and I  have no idea what that stuff even is! I'm just wondering now if the new 24" flat screen monitor is going to fit on this desk. Booya, bitches! That's right, I said a 24" monitor (OK, that seems big to me. Is it really big? Or is that just your average everyday monitor? )! Anyway, I can't wait until it gets here and we have a lightening fast computer. Sweet!

News of the weird - The Candyman and I live in this weird little "community" that we like to call Pleasantville. Pleasantville has not been all that pleasant as of late. We have had a rash of crime over the last 9 months that makes my 3 month stint in that Escondido, California,  dump look like a day at the park. As you might recall, The Candyman had his truck stolen 2 weeks before our wedding (so not cool on so many levels). Sometime during the summer there was a total drug bust a few houses down from us. Some dude was dealing drugs in Pleasantville! So shocking to our Pleasantviile neighbors. It's the one and only time I've actually seen my neighbors outside. Anyway, I got Peasantville's little newsletter yesterday and it mentioned that now, some asshole in a maroon van is driving around stealing people's packages off their porches! WTF? And guess what? It totally happened to me! I bought yet another pair of Mia  Hepburns from Zappos and they were supposed to get here the next day (I am a VIP member, you know!). A week later, they still weren't here. Because Zappos rocks, they sent me a new pair no problem. However, it got me thinking last night. So I went on my registry to see if there was something that was purchased, but that we did not receive - AND THERE WAS! Turns out that while I was overseas The Candyman missed the UPS guy three times and there was some issue with the little flyer things they leave on your door....anyway, the thing was returned to Crate and Barrel. I contacted C&B and they are re-shipping the gift. What can we learn from The Thirty-Something Bride?

1. I don't care if you live in Beverly-freakin-Hills, have all your gifts delivered somewhere where you know someone can sign for it and put it in a safe place, out of harms way and away from maroon van driving thieves. 

2. Keep a detailed record of your gifts and who sent what. Do not write them on the back o f a grocery list like some other brides I know (um, that would be me). While this may seem like a no-brainer for thank you notes (yes, you must write them), it can also help you figure out who didn't get you something and what might be missing should something go awry.

3. Yes, it's OK to register. It makes things easier for guests and no, it does NOT make you greedy or non-eco-friendly or anti-feminist or anything some holier-than-thou pie-holes might make you think. It's a personal preference, register for what you want/need, call it a day and don't stress over it at all. Totally not the thing to worry about.Totally.

The Candyman and I are having our first wedded Valentine's Day dinner at........Mere Bulles! Duh! We haven't been back to eat there since the wedding and we thought it was high time we did! Love those folks so much. They truly know how to throw a party.

Last, but not least, I'm getting my hair done this weekend. I've decided to go shoulder length and get rid of some length. I'm skerred! That's "scared" in Southern-speak.

Everyone, have a lovely Valentine's weekend. Do not be sad if you're man doesn't get you flowers (just makes sure he knows that you want flowers - he's not a mind reader) - get hime some! Guys want love and romance too, they just suck at admitting it. Be safe. Don't drink and drive. Love one another with wild abandon. Hug. Kiss. It's Valentine's Day! Smooches to all of you!

Comments

[Natosha]

Great post today, lady! We'll be at Mere Bulles Sunday too if we get over this sickness! Have a great weekend and happy 1st married V-day! :)

[Chic 'n Cheap Living]

Stealing packages? So wrong. Girl, it's all about Google Docs! We have a list of all guests and their gifts. I have so many thank you cards to write, it's not cool. Also wondering if people will really take a year for a gift or whether we should assume we won't get something from them.