Breaking Down

Never has a black cloud followed me so persistently! I'm trying to think back over the long list of my dastardly deeds to see what has generated such a string of bad gu-gu. Generally fate and I go tit-for-tat and I'm cool with that. However, recently the scale has been weighted heavily on the negative karma side and I'm totally not down with that. At all.

Karma

Over the last 2 months I've had the following episodes occur:

• Massive sinus infection that left me incapacitated for a week followed immediately by...
• My first encounter with Preparation H. Yes, that. Several doctor's appointments and lots of uncomfortable situations and 2 weeks later I was finally H-free. Yes, it's gross. Yes, it made me feel like a freakin' decrepit old codger. No, I'm not pregnant.
• Car vandalism.
• Roof leak.
• Insurance bullshit. 
• Internet access denial. 

This last one is the latest. See, I just wanted to get a new cell phone. We have been encouraged to use our work cell phones as our personal cell phones. I have been okay with that scenario for a while, but really haven't been happy with it recently. I mean, my company has access to all the personal calls I make. Not so sure I like that. The Big Brother aspect just started to smell stinky. I decided that I'd add a line to The Candyman's Verizon plan since AT&T cell service pretty much sucks at our house. You have to go upstairs to the back bedroom just to keep the call from dropping. Lame, right? So I call up Verizon, we figure out the best plan and I'm good to go, right? Well, I happened to mention canceling my home land line to the Verizon lady and she's all, "Well, we can port over your land line to your new cell line and you can keep your home number as your cell number." I'm all, "Hey! That rocks! Yeah, let's do that! What do I need to do?" And she tells me that I don't have to do anything and that it will just take a few days for the number to port over.

Yeah. She fails to mention (or ask me) if I have a DSL line that also goes through the same land line number. And guess what "port over" means? It means "cancel your entire phone service with your current carrier." So, buh-bye to my DSL on Friday night. So after three straight weeks of calling the insurance company to get shit figured out, I now have to call Verizon and figure out the fuck up. And they can't do anything because they don't do DSL. So now I have to call AT&T and to get it worked out. And let me tell you how HARD it is to get the right phone number to get that set up when you don't have the internet. I actually had to call Verizon back to get them to look it up. How freakin' lame is that? So, now we have to set up a whole new account for our DSL, which we won't get until Wednesday.Such a silly, stupid little mistake that just makes life so crazy and inconvenient.

And let me tell you how TIRED I am of pressing this number or that number and entering my account number fifty-seven million times in order to get a live, living person to speak to. And no, hitting zero doesn't always accomplish that. Companies have gotten wise to that move and now don't allow you to do that. Asses.

AND WHAT? ALL WEEKEND WITH NO INTERNET? You try it. Suckage. Although, I have to say that I have gotten a  ton of stuff accomplished in the last three days. No blogs to distract me. No Netflix to suck my time. I have felt totally cut off though. To add fuel to my blazing fire, my office had a "catastrophic failure" and we have been without internet access there as well. I asked The Candyman if he would do a guest post today for me and I think that request may have come a little too early in the morning as I got a big fat negative on that one. I won't even tell you what I've done to gain access. It's kind of sad, really.

But by Saturday morning I'd had it. So had The Candyman. We were cleaning up the house for a viewing (oh, did I mention we're selling our casa?) and the poop hit the fan, so to speak. I was banging around upstairs, The Candyman was banging around downstairs and I heard him leave. Generally, we don't part ways unless it's a super-gruesome brawl and generally, we communicate the need to retreat to our respective corners. So I'm thinking, "What's he so pissed about? I'M the one who should be mad!" About the time I'm thinking this, I hear him come home. He walks into the bathroom I'm scrubbing and holds out a fist full of money. He says, "Here. I got this [meaning the cleaning of the house]. You need to chill. Go shopping. Go get a pedicure. Go buy some fabric. Take this money and go."

So I did.

Retail therapy is just the best. I went and got a mani-pedi and I didn't even have to wait for my favorite mani-pedi chick. She was free and ready to go. I went to Kristin Steele's open house to celebrate her full-time launch into full-time photography where I met up with Sharon of Jonathon Campbell Photography. I ran into Jessica (aka The Budget Savvy Bride) and just hung out at Wedding 101 for awhile. I twisted Sharon's arm and made her go have a cocktail with me afterwards!

I got home late, swung by Blue Coast Burrito first and pigged out on cheesy taco goodness. Then I ate left over cupcakes that Kristin had sent home with us.

I think Karma and I are about even. Um, so Karma? You can stop fucking with me now. Thanks, I appreciate it.

Comments

[Mom]

Sure hope things get better..... I'm sending goodness vibes your way!

[abby]

I hear you on the bad Karma scale being tipped over your head!!!

On top of all the kid stuff going on around here, we got yet another dx of ADHD, the same damn sinus infection that you probably got and then my icing on the cake was an ALLERGIC reaction to penicillin. Oh yeah, I sported a sexy all over body hive/rash thing that itched for nearly 72 hours while I sucked down liquid benadryl and then just tried to stay away to deal with all my kids stuff. Ugh.

On the plus side, you did at least get to make it thru all those voice prompts without three screaming kids in the background. THAT is soooo not fun. I swear they once transferred me to an Indian, Spanish-speaking representative who wanted to upgrade a plan I didn't even subscribe to! NO COMPRENDE I kept saying and then finally had to hang up.

Hugs. Let's have a better week okay!!!!!!

ab

ps...bummer about the prep H thing. You poor, poor thing!

[GoodEnoughWoman]

Cousin, I'm so sorry you've been going through so much, and I'm so glad that your retail therapy was effective. I knew the Candyman had some smarts about him.

[Krista - Becoming Mrs. Dial]

Dang, lady. :( Sorry to hear about all these bummy rain clouds that are trailing you. Wish I could've made it to Kristin's launch on Saturday, but I was in Illinois with my parents over the weekend. Hope the cupcakes and cocktail made things a smidge better. :) 18 days...agh! Talk with you soon!

[Sharon]

My arm was barely twisted and it was great to chill and "shoot the shit" with you, girlfriend.

Love,
Sharon

[Jenni]

Oh. My. Goodness!!!!! What the H is wrong with the universe to let so many bad things go wrong, and THEN take away internet!? EEP! Doesn't is know that you have important things to do like search for the perfect swimsuit, or new bangle bracelet for a good 3 hours!? The nerve! haha so glad things are getting better!!!! What an awesome guy to know you need time and give you the opportunity to take it! Lucky lucly lady!
PS-I'm having a giveaway on my blog for a beautiful little carafe!!!