Finding My/Your Wedding Mojo

So I've been frantically working on all sorts of hair toys and bridal accessories for some bridal blogging partners in crime as well as for a few others (Jenn C., I swear, you're next!) . It's been going well, but I get very nervous when I do custom stuff. Don't get me wrong, I love to do custom stuff. On one hand, it's really easy because you get to hear exactly what the bride wants and I really enjoy creating something with a particular person in my head. On the other hand, it's completely nerve-wracking because I've got this insane need to please and I want people to be happy with what I do for them.

And it's weird (or maybe it isn't, I need some artists to chime in here) because I'll have an idea for something and start working on it. And then it won't come. Or rather, it won't come all the way. The creative juices just halt. The thing that I had in my head sort of becomes this fleeting image that I'm suddenly chasing around the corners of my right brain. If I can't see it, I can't do it. The same thing used to happen to me when I was designing lamps and home decor. I'd be overseas, all excited to go play with product and I'd have all these ideas and visions dancing around in my head and I'd get to a factory to work and my brain would go SCREEEEEECH and I'd be standing and staring at a project like a freakin' deer in head lights. Most times, I'd ask for a Diet Coke (assuming the lost creativity was due to jet lag) and wander around looking at old projects or rejected projects for the thing that goes "SPARK" and gets me up and running again.

Over the years, I taught my Asian vendors tons of American slang, one of them being the word "mojo" and how one could lose it. Most of them knew that if I went for the Diet Coke, my mojo was in hiding. My vendors would bring out pretty things to spark my interest, or make a suggestion to the design I was working on, or just generally distract me. Most times, that's all I would need: a diversion, another voice. I'm not one of those people who think that my ideas are the best, most creative out there. In fact, I second guess myself so much that another voice puts me at ease, whether the feedback be praise or constructive criticism.

So now that I'm doing these custom things, I find myself emailing pictures of possibilities to brides along the way, and getting their feedback. I don't know if that's the "right" way to go about this new venture, but it feels most comforting to me for now. I certainly don't want to make something for a bride that they don't like or is somehow "off", even just a little. I don't want to be the regret a bride has after all is said and done. Perhaps this is undue pressure I am putting on myself. I'm just not certain at this point.

So I have been trying to come up with a new designing diversion without success. Diet Coke only appears to work in China. Last week I was taking some pictures of a lace shrug to email to a bride. I needed to try it on to show the bride where the length would fall, etc. and to do so, I needed to show the shrug with a strapless dress. I put on my David's Bridal $40 wedding gown I bought on sale some time last year, snapped some pics and emailed them off. I took off the shrug, took down my tripod and organized the bride's goodies. I cleaned up my work space a bit and put away some folded laundry. All in the wedding gown. I didn't purposely leave it on, I just got side tracked with activities. I sat down to attend to more emails and realized I was still wearing the gown. So I kept it on. A few nano-seconds later, the radio started playing the dreaded,

Baby, baby, baby ohh
Like baby, baby, baby noo
Like baby, baby, baby ohh

And I got up and started dancing. Just like that. To Justin Beiber. In my $40 David's Bridal wedding gown. And then I had an epiphany! "No! It is NOT Justin Beiber that I should be dancing to!" and I ran to my iPod and found, played and danced to "Forever" by Chris Brown. I swear, I cry a happy cry every single time I hear that song. Ever since those crazy kids, Jill and Kevin, danced their way down the aisle, it's all I can envision in my head when I hear it. And it makes me so freakin' happy. Their video came out in July of 2009, less than 8 weeks before my own wedding. It was my go-to video when I was feeling stressed. That video took me to my happy place when I was overwhelmed by tasks, drama (usually self-induced) or just plain ol' nerves. So I danced. I danced up and down the hallway and got funky to "Forever." Afterwards, I changed out of the gown and banged out some crazy bridal accessories. And just like that, I found my mojo. Is my $40 David's Bridal wedding gown and a little Chris Brown my new Diet Coke?

When it comes down to it, we all are pretty much obsessed when it comes to our planning, right? I certainly didn't expect to care or plan or DIY as much as I did. It all sort of just happened. I wasn't prepared for it, that's for damn sure. I think every bride needs a little go-to for de-stressing in the throws of wedding planning, don't you? Do you work out? Imbibe? Listen to Justin Beiber (don't worry, I won't tell anyone)? What's your tactic for getting your wedding out of your head?

And just in case you've been living under a rock, on another planet or in a general state of internet ignorance, here's a repeat performance of my favorite wedding de-stresser ever.

Over 61 MILLION people have watched this video and nearly $35,000 has been raised in donations to the Sheila Wellstone Institute to stop domestic violence. If that doesn't make you feel good, I don't know what will!

Comments

[veronica]

I hear you - custom work is SCARY. I go through such a series of emotions that I usually cry with the bride at her last fitting just because she's happy. It's such a RELIEF. It isn't until many months later when I come across a picture or something that I can finally say "oh, you know, that was kind of cute". It's the burden and gift of being a perfectionist - you're constantly driven to get better. I can't wait to see this stuff you've been making!

[Jenn]

A) Take your time..no hurry here
B) I wouldn't have asked if I were not confident your work..

Chill out woman and do another dance.

[Sarah]

So many thoughts on this post, as you know. First, I love getting the in-process pictures and having a bit of say in the final product. I think if you're going to do the hair toy thing in a bigger way, you'll probably need to have an inventory of ready-to-wear options and then allow custom work, though. If you do everything custom, the time-versus-price equation will probably eat up your profit margin pretty quickly. But, um, I've never owned my own business so that's just my guess based on the amount of time I put into my own projects (for instance, I have decided that the luggage tags I'm making are a labor of love and would absolutely NOT be worth trying to sell because nobody would want to pay for the amount of labor involved in making them because holy hell these are a pain to get right).

Second, artistic inspiration comes and goes. There are posts that just flow naturally for me and then there are the posts that I labor and labor over but they just don't come out right.

Third, there are moments when a girl just has to dance around in a wedding dress when no one is looking.

[Louise]

@Sarah - Yes, you're absolutely correct regarding the profit margin! The rub right now is that all I have time to do is custom stuff and getting the new stuff done has taken a bit of a back seat! I'll get there though, it just takes some time.

And yes, we do need to just dance around in a gown!

[Becca]

My mojo used to come with a cigarette on the porch at midnight (night owl ex-smoker here.) When I quit smoking, I thought I'd lost my mojo. That was seriously the worst part of quitting smoking. But it came back. It usually involved a music-blasting break, some stretches, and some undefinable magic ah-ha! moment.

But if it's a DB dress and dancing that does it for you, then it's doign a great job (says a woman who LOVES LOVES LOVES the custom hairpiece you just made her!) But I also think creativity takes practice. The more you do this, the easier it will become. Really and truly. You'll still have panic-stop moments. You'll still ave blank-brain days. But those are the days you should work on rote flowers for your general inventory.

Sarah's right - you definitely need stock items and items that can go out on their own or with minimal customization for long-term profit margins (and sleep.) Because you are a perfectionist and my custom experience with you proved you're worth every penny (and a whole lot more) for what you provide. You also proved you have mojo and creativity galore.

Have I mentioned I love my hairflower? LOVE IT.