“Our Nation’s Capital”

Back in the early days of us, The Candyman worked for a not-for-profit group (now debunked due to lack of funding) called The Justice Project. It fought to abolish the death penalty in the state of Tennessee. The job took him to DC on several different occasions. His first trip away from me was hard. We had just started dating and I didn’t want him to leave. Me? I left him constantly, hopping all over the damn world all the damn time, but it all felt different when he left. He called me every night he was gone (all two of them) and would tell me, in his best Forrest Gump voice, “I wish you were here with me in our nation’s capital.” I’ll admit, it made me swoon.

So when we went to DC together for Marie’s wedding (which, by the way will be an Unfake Wedding as soon as she gets her pictures!), it felt much like we were fulfilling a must-do in our relationship. Since Marie was married on a Friday, The Candyman and I took a bus, then the Metro to the heart of DC and spent the day walking on The Mall and checking out all the monuments and memorials. It was a stunning day and as we walked together, holding hands, taking pictures and eating giant, soft pretzels we kept saying, in our best Forrest Gump voices, “ I am glad we are here together in our nation’s capital.”

Since I lived outside the DC area all throughout high school, this trip back to The Mall was a little reminiscent of Fourth of July fire works, photography class field trips and early adolescent excursions into places unknown. A lot has changed since then so just like The Candyman, I was seeing lots of things for the first time.

The Hirshhorn Sculpture Garden

The Hirshhorn Sculpture Garden

Someone made a modern art sculpture of us! They got it right, even down to my chest size!

The Candyman contemplating art.

Straight up the Washington Monument.

This was my first time to the World War II Memorial and boy howdy, was it amazing. So incredibly moving.

One happy Veteran!

The Candyman, so proud of his home state!

All the men in green are World War II Veterans. World War II ended in 1945. That was 66 year ago! Most of these old dudes were well into their 80’s! It chokes me up to think of all that these men did for our freedom, and all they have been through. It was an honor to be there with them.

The Candyman reads Lincoln’s Second Inaugural Address.

Where MLK delivered his famous speech. Keep the dream alive!

Copying names from the Vietnam Memorial Wall.

Memories of lost soldiers at The Wall.

These next few pictures were taken in front of the National Archives building. All of this was new to me and so, so super cool!

Big, crazy metal tree.

Sculpture.

It was just a beautiful, modern art sculpture garden. So cool.

Sculpture. Chairs?

Blocks.

I think we walked about 5 miles that day and didn’t even go into one museum. We saw so much stuff. Have you been to our nation’s capital? If not, it’s a must see. Our entire day cost us about $25 including the transportation to and from The Mall and snacks. Museums are free. Memorials are free. Monuments are free. People watching is free. Learning and experiencing a good chunk of nation’s history is free. I left DC and this experience elated, but also with a bit of a heavy heart, particularly after wandering amongst all the WWII Veterans. It seems so sad and frustrating that all the good that this country has fought for and stood tall for appears to be crumbling under the weight of our own politics. There is a Congress filled  skanky, nasty politicians and a national debt incurred not by The People, but Corporations run by greedy fucking asshats who consider themselves irreplaceable. The sad fact is that the entire senior executive team at many corporations could be replaced tomorrow without a blip in the company's long-term growth rate or share price.¹

*stepping off soapbox*

Ahem. My point? If you want to experience and appreciate all that is America, check out our capital. Be inspired. 

On Second Cousins, Twice Removed.

A few weeks ago I took a weekend trip to Charleston, South Carolina. The Candyman’s aunt put together a “Cousin’s Retreat” for the Ladies Only. It had been a loooong time since I’d shared a bathroom with that many females….

It was a wonderful experience getting to know these women from two generations, most of whom I’d never met before, who I was now (if not remotely) related to. How strange is that? A single ceremony suddenly creates this whole new family that never existed before, the dynamics of which a new bride (or groom, for that matter) must navigate, and sometimes blindly. I had lots of reservations heading into the weekend. Would my potty mouth get the best of me in front of a slew of born and bred Southern Ladies? Would I be required to sit on a porch and drink Mint Julep’s? Not that I’d mind sitting and sipping, but you know, I wanted to be prepared. Were my Low Country adventures that same as theirs? Do we shuck oysters the same? Are boiled peanuts considered gauche by Charlestonians standards? Would I show my ass to these nice people who welcomed me into their lives and homes?

I hoped not.

I learned a lot about my husband’s family: they shared childhood photos and stories a-plenty. When The Candyman and I first started dating, I was a bit shocked at how well he dealt with me and my general surliness. I am still shocked by this. He told me then that he had “lots of strong women” in his family. Boy howdy, he wasn’t kidding! His aunts and gaggle of female cousins all fit into this “Strong Women” mold. I honestly can’t remember a time where I have sat around with such a variety of women, backgrounds and experiences and had such great conversations. Oh wait, yes I can. It was That Really Cool Thing.  My bad. But seriously, it was so cool. The political representations were clearly divided in both young and old, yet our end goals and objectives always led us back to the same place. Is that a female thing? All the women there were highly educated and it made for thoughtful conversation. Me likey.

Our activities ranged from sitting around the breakfast table in our jammies sipping coffee and gabbing (until well into the morning) to watching the Citadel Knobs become fully recognized cadets. It was a mixed bag of activities, but they all seemed to end with several empty bottles of wine and slow, easy feeling of contentment. One of The Candyman’s first cousins lives locally and opened her lovely home to the festivities. And when I say “lovely home” I mean, a “holy shit” kind of house. I have fantasized about this house. I didn’t know the house actually belonged to anyone except to the house-I-want-to-live-in fantasy movie that plays in my head sometimes. (I know you have them too, don’t deny it.) I’ve dreamed of big, ol’ trees, dripping with Spanish moss (check), a long dock that leads out to a marshy inlet (check), a screened in porch (check), rocking chairs (check), a garden (check) and all the niceties one might want for a home (check, check, check).

Only in the South, I swear. The Garden & Gun Club, downtown Charleston.

A very rigid cadet, about to scream his brains out to a legion of “Knobs.”

A church in downtown Charleston.

Citadel Alum

A very cool chair I found for sale. It was only like, $800. Pa-lease! This is a DIY chair made in HEAVEN!

The following pictures tell the story of the outside of my fantasy house.

Mossy goodness.

Marshy goodness.

We spent a sunset here with a nice bottle/s of wine.

Because who couldn’t use a fountain?

Saltwater pool = cool.

It’s like an invitation home.

One of The Candyman’s aunts.

AH-mazing, right? Check out some shots from the inside (below). We had brunch there our first morning and I took some shots of our incredible table setting, the yummy cheese grits (with LUMPS of gouda cheese…) and everything in between! A word of warning: the homeowners are hunters. The “game” room is literally, just that – their hunted game. The family realizes that hunting is not for everyone and warned us of the room from the start (which I thought was very nice). So if you’re an animal activist, pleas skip the remaining pictures. I felt they made interesting photography subjects myself.

In the billiards room.

Super yum.

How Southern does it get? A little North vs. South chess set!

Yes, please.

I really thought the wall paper was kick-ass.

OhmygodItotallyfantastizeaboutthis. It’s the “second kitchen.”Yes, that’s right. Industrial sized everything, for your serious parties. I’m still trying to figure out the best way to steal the 8-eye gas range. Any ideas?

This reminds me of a Disney movie for some reason.

Pretty pretty tablescape!

What the fuck is this?

The bathroom off the work-out room. Please note the massage table in the mirror reflection. Nice…

Private whirlpool-style tub with a lovely, private view.

More tablescape.

I have no idea what this thing is either.

A random hallway.

The piano.

Incredible, right?

So this post brings to mind two questions. I’m assimilating to a new family albeit very slowly. Much thought wasn’t put into this when we got engaged. I mean, we talked about our family differences, but not how to become part of them. I definitely think there are some families that need to  discuss how to manage certain members before the knot is tied. What kinds of talks are you having? Are these tough talks or easy ones? Is there a sense of trial by fire (how we did it) or is there a plan of action? Do tell.

The second question is this: Are these pictures too obnoxiously big? I like to keep the same width for consistency’s sake, but is it a pain in the ass to scroll down a ton? Myself? I prefer large pictures on a blog. I want clarity and details. but sometimes scrolling annoys me.

Weigh in on either or both questions, will ya?

A Backward Glance

The wind has been howling here in Middle Tennessee. We had big giant thunder-boomy storms night before last. It's dark and scary-looking outside. When it gets this way, generally me and The Candyman snuggle together and in unison say, "Thuuuuuuuuuunder Stoooooorms" because, well, that's just what we do. Actually, the back story is that it's one of things we both listed as "sexy" on our Match.com profiles. So when it's thundering and stormy outside, it's sexy inside. *wink wink nudge nudge*

So when I get woken up by wind and rain and all that and I cannot get back to sleep I'm certainly not thinking sexy thoughts, I'm thinking about these and how many I will need in order to get all my crap from here to Charlotte on Saturday. SATURDAY!!! I'm leaving Nashville on Saturday! So weird.

I completely underestimated the amount of crap in my office that is indeed mine to take along with me. Personal files and folders and such. My space heater. Multiple cans of spray paint used in my home decor "oh my God, the photography sample from China is the wrong color and photography starts TODAY!" emergencies. I keep copies of the trade magazines that my product was published in. Last month I got a cover shot. I mean, I certainly don't want to throw that away now, do I? I don't. I really don't.

My car is going to be jam packed with sewing gear, clothes, and The Kitty.Sigh. That damn cat is going to howl all the freakin' way there, I'm sure. I can't kitty-tranq her because she's pretty old and the vet is worried it might have some adverse affects. Adverse affects? What if her constant crying over the course of seven hours leads me to toss her out the window on I-26? Isn't THAT an adverse affect?

I've got trailer delivery set up, but I'm worried about where they will be able to park it since the other tenants of the house will be moving out. I've got movers planned, but I mistakenly set the time up an hour earlier than I should have. Waiting for them to call me back to confirm the revised time. I've got all the utilities taken care of, but I feel like I'm missing something and just I don't know what it is. I hate that.

So when the thunder storms and wind wake me up these days, I lie in bed thinking how I will pack my car. Where will our sofa go in the new house? Which room should be the sewing room and which should be The Candyman's office? Can we afford a fire pit for the back yard? We have to buy a new bed. When will I do that? Will the money be an issue? Where am I going to go work out? Will I meet new people? Will I find interesting and fun friends? Will our neighbors be cool? Will we want to buy this house? Do we want to have a baby? Will I have to find a new "normal" job or can I be an entrepreneur? Where can I find a cheap dress form? Is it possible for me to reupholster my own couch? What should I get The Candyman for Christmas? 

I tried watching a little TV. You'd be surprised at what is NOT on at 2:15am. Then I tried reading. I started to drift off, so turned out the light and again, laid there wondering about packing and unpacking the house and if my broken paw is going give me a nervous break down in all this. No bueno. 

And then I started thinking about my job. Sigh. The job. Six years. SIX YEARS! I've been doing this job for SIX YEARS! It's the longest I've held any position. It's the job I've loved to hate an hated to love. I've worked countless hours above and beyond a 40 hour work week. I've cried. I've laughed. I puked my brains out on an eight hour flight from New Delhi to Frankfurt. I've eaten beef tendon soup and fried chicken knuckles. I've met some incredible people and done some incredible things.  I've been able to visit:

• The Great Wall of China (twice, Beijing, China)
• Tianeman's Square (Beijing, China)
• The Forbidden City (Beijing, China)
• The Terra Cotta Soldiers (Xian, China)
• The Lama Temple (Built during the Qing dynasty, the Lama Temple is the most important Tibetan Buddhist monastery in Beijing, China)
• Huaqing Hot Springs Palace (Xian, China, famed for both its natural hot springs and the love story of Emperor Xuanzong (685-762) and his concubine Yang Guifei in the Tang Dynasty (618-907))
• The Taj Mahal (Agra, India)
• The Agra Red Fort (Agra, India)
• The Jaipur Palace (Jaipur, India)
• Wong Tai Sin Temple (Hong Kong)

And seriously, countless other places that I happily have photo-logged over the course of time. I am so lucky. Most people only dream of visiting these places and I got to do it all on someone else's dime (for the most part).

But it's still sad to think about how much work I've put into this job and this company. Those of us who has been "asked" to leave are feeling a little out of sorts. I've been here for six years (SIX!), another for eight and another for ten. How do you walk away from that without having some sort of feelings about it. You can't. You shouldn't be expected to. My office is looking quite barren and a little forlorn. The samples have been rerouted up north. My shelves have been cleared out of my hoarders collection of catalogs, fabric samples, quote sheets, you name it. It feels a little pathetic.

But in cleaning out everything, I came across some memories that I thought I might share - paying homage to the good times this job has afforded me. So before I look forward to to my new home, new experiences and new life, I need to take a quick look back at the good times.

Your friendly neighborhood butcher. Dongguan, China 2008.

Right before the start of the Chinese New Year fireworks show over Victoria Bay, Hong Kong 2007. What a show!!! You know the Chinese invented fireworks, right?

Me with my old boss at a glass factory in Shenyang, China 2005. Scary looking, right?

Freezing my ass off outside the Musee d'Orsay in Paris, France 2007.

Kick-ass mummification at The Louvre, Paris, France 2007.

The Hooka Pipe, New Delhi, India 2006. Apple herb, folks. Smoking apple herb.

Strange and wonderful fruits, Saigon, Vietnam 2008.

Look ma! No hands! Street kids earning some extra dough by playing with deadly snakes. On the road to Agra, India, 2007.

Wong Tai Sin Taoist Temple, Hong Kong, 2005.

Perched on the black onyx throne at the Agra Red Fort. See the Taj Mahal in the background? Agra, India 2007.

Sunset somewhere in northern China. I seriously have no idea where I was. 2006

My fave travel pic of all time. The Taj Mahal, Agra, India, 2007.

Mmmm. Goose parts for lunch. ALL the parts. ChangAn, China, 2005.

Additionally, all this travel made me a bazillionaire in terms of frequent flier miles. I took me and The Candyman to Hawaii, first class for FREE. Our honeymoon trip to Mexico was FREE. I've brought friends and family to see me, for FREE. I won't complain about that at all. However, I will miss it. :) I'll miss a lot of things about this job. What I won't miss? The stress, Louts Notes, my Dell Latitude X300 laptop circa 2004, conference calls, staff meetings or Title 20. So there.

Oh, and before I forget, the winner of the sign contest from last week is Ashely, from Our Rookie Year.

A Quickie Question

*YAWN*

Mornin' ladies.

The sleepy Thirty-Something Bride is posting early this morning. I've got to head down to Atlanta today to the Merchandise Mart for a trade show. I'm only there for a night, so still have the weekend for wedding planning activities, of which I believe I'm behind on.

The good news is that the Atlanta Mart has wholesale jewelry and "cash and carry" booths that I plan to visit to hopefully find earrings and hair accessories for The Big Show. Wish me luck.

So the question: when the hell do I send out my invitations? My wedding is October 11, 2009. The RSVP's are due back Spetember 15th (I'm hoping this was a good date to choose). How soon should I send them out? I was thinking August 1. My mom thinks they should have gone out already. Anyone know what I should be doing?

Local Nashville Brides - Don't forget! You can still win tickets to the Bridal Show this Sunday! Scroll down to win!

Farewell, Old Friend.

*Sniff*
A fond farewell to the best suitcase ever. And I mean ever-ever. I purchased this lovely Olympia 26" roller from TJ Maxx in Downers Grove, Illinois in 1999 for $74.99. This little baby has been places even I haven't (i.e., it's mis-route from Bangkok to Micronesia instead of Ho Chi Minh City)! She road atop a van, hitting all points of the India Golden Triangle (Delhi-Agra-Jaipur) and I do not even want to recall what I had to scrape off of her after that trip. She's "smuggled" bottles of wine from France, cheese from Amsterdam, knock-offs from Shanghai (before I knew better) and a myriad of Christmas presents to and fro. We've literally been around the world together more than 20 times.

All but her main zipper tabs have been broken off and I use a key ring to maneuver them. Her side handle broke off about a year ago and I thought about retiring her then, but simply couldn't let go..... I noticed the handle that was left was loose in Manila. I started treating her with care and fussing at bell-boys who grabbed her too roughly. I packed her lightly and stuffed the other bag with heavier objects. She lasted all the way back to Nashville, as if she knew her 10 year reign was over. When I went to pull her off the belt here at home, her solitary handle was dangling off.

I have tried in the past to replace her, even contacting Olympia. Sadly, her model has long been retired. Replacement is futile. I have no idea what to do. Farewell, my dear, old friend.